These Hips Don't Lie

So, I've developed a real issue. Yesterday I was scrounging for one of my favorite pairs of jeans to wear while volunteering with my students. For some reason, I couldn't find them (later this problem was resolved...I just overlooked them). In my haste to get to work, I grabbed another old favorite pair and slipped them on really quick. They had a good flair to wear with tennis shoes, still look good from the back, and are nice and worn in Paper Denim & Cloth jeans that I've had since high school. I got them up over my thighs, over my butt, around my hips....and to my horror, I can't button them. I can't use PMS bloating as an excuse this week either. I ripped them off, threw them to the floor of my closet, and quickly found the pair I had originally been looking for before running out the door. It nagged me a bit all day, but I figure maybe I just haven't worn them since last washing them. Maybe I dried them. Maybe I didn't try hard enough. Maybe I ate too much salt the day before. Because I am TOTALLY still the same size...I should STILL be able to wear my high school jeans (at least this is what I tell myself).

Fast forward to this morning. I decided to spice it up this Friday with some heels and my high-waisted, wide-legged dress pants. I was feeling good about myself and even got a few compliments on my pants this morning. (I don't wear them too often and definitely not since last winter.) Around 9:00 a.m. I felt something. As if Thursday wasn't horrific enough, the top eyehook on my pants had flown off! Not just come undone...I mean the hook itself was no longer attached to my pants, and they were hanging on by the two remaining eyehooks. And it didn't just fall off like it had been dangling by a thread for a while. It felt pretty secure this morning. I mean the hook shot at least 4 feet away, a la Subway commercial:

These hips don't lie. Someone needs to be hitting the gym ASAP for some trimming and toning. Maybe I'll put this on my workout playlist for next week:

Simply,

MJ